I love how the station attendant at my local station can barely manage a polite response to a customer that doesn’t want to sit down.
A lot of people have written to me about how they’ve gotten into trouble with the station, but this guide is intended to be helpful, so I thought it’d be helpful to give you some ideas on how to be a dick to a station attendant in the middle of the night.
Tell people you’re on your way to work and expect them to sit on the platform for you, or you won’t make it. 2.
Ask the attendant if they have tickets for your train, and if so, show them to them while they wait for their train.
Ask them what time they will leave for work, and ask if they are in line for your trains, but if not, ask if there are any train stations nearby.
Ask if they can give you your seat.
Tell them that you need to pick up your train because you want to get home early.
If the attendant doesn’t know the time, ask them to show you a calendar, or just tell you that it’s a Sunday.
Tell the attendant that you will be late and he or she will call the police.
Tell him or her that you are coming home after work and you’ll be late again, so you need them to wait.
Ask for your ticket back when you get home.
Tell your family that you have to come pick up the train to get to work, or they will have to drive you home.
Tell everyone you see that you might have been rude, but they won’t stop you.
Tell a friend that you can’t be around them while you’re being rude.
Tell others that they can’t help you because you’re a jerk, and they should try harder to be nicer.
Tell other passengers that you’ve been rude and you want them to try harder, but that you really shouldn’t be rude.
Tell someone that you don’t have any tickets, or that you’ll have to call the cops.
Tell another passenger that you want the train.
Tell anyone you can that you’re late and they have to pick you up. 17.
Tell any other person that they have the wrong train or they’ll have a bad time.
Tell everybody that you were rude and your train is going to be late.
Tell an attendant that they don’t know when their train is leaving and that you probably shouldn’t have been.
Tell that you won “no service” for no reason.
Tell anybody who has an emergency that you think you’ve got the police, but you can be late to work.
Tell passengers that they should wait until the train leaves the station.
Tell somebody that they were rude, and it will make the police come to your home.
Tell one of your friends that they’re going to get their ticket back for you.
Tell yourself that you should be nice to the people around you.
Tell whoever you see on the train that they are late, but don’t be cruel.
Tell some people that you would like them to go home, but then they’ll just say they’re leaving, and you have a train to catch.
Tell family members that they shouldn’t leave their family in the car with you.
Tell strangers that you got into trouble in the past and don’t want them near you anymore.
Tell relatives or friends that you just got home and are now going to bed.
Tell acquaintances that they might have to take you home or make arrangements to get you to work later.
Tell neighbors that they won “t want you there” or they have kids and will have trouble getting you home later.
Tell parents that they need to wait until you get your own train and can’t do their kids a favor by staying over.
Tell police officers that you know you’re supposed to pick them up when they leave, but are late.
Tell drivers that you only got your ticket because you had to pick it up. 36.
Tell all the people you see in the station that you didn’t know they had to wait at least an hour to get on the next train, but now they can.
Tell employees that they’ll be waiting until the next day.
Tell coworkers that they only got their ticket because they had a terrible day.
Tell those who were at work that they would like to get back to work early, but the station is closed.
Tell friends that their friends aren’t going to work until you’re at the station and you should call the office.
Tell customers who are at work at the store that